Mistakes: 1.1

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Casper sat huddled into the faded red leather of the seat, his body pressed tight into the corner. He found it was best to find small spaces when he had to deal with nerves. The nerves weren’t his, although that didn’t help much. There was a boy seated a few tables away and the nerves were coming off of him in waves, intensifying every time the young waitress made another circuit of the diner. Casper didn’t like the other boy’s feelings. They were agitating, tinged with a slightly alien, warm sort of emotion that he sometimes felt from those older than himself. It always made him a little uncomfortable.

Casper groaned as the waitress passed the older teen once more, eliciting a fresh wave of anxiety from him, and tried to find some way to distract himself. There were other emotions in the room, of course, emanating from the dozen or so customers and staff that littered the diner, but the nervous boy was, by far, the loudest of them. Casper tried to distract himself by focusing on the calmer, albeit quieter mind of an old man sitting a short way away, trying to drown out the other boy’s perpetual anxiety. It helped, a little.

Casper checked his phone, drumming his fingers impatiently against the greasy table top. She was meant to be here ten minutes ago. Where was she?

He resolved to give her another two minutes, a resolution that broke with yet another wave of anxiety from the nearby teenager who, he noticed, had just moved to flag down the waitress.

Casper tapped his phone a few times, his fingers shaking slightly as he pulled up the relevant contact information in his call list. The older boy was getting more and more nervous by the second, mumbling to the waitress in a voice too low to make out from this distance. Casper took refuge in the much calmer, mildly amused feelings emanating from the waitress. He pulled up a text message box and began to type. Before he finished writing, however, the phone pinged, the text window showing him a new message.

‘Hey Cas! Change of plans. Can u meet me? Tasha.’

Casper practically groaned with relief, picking up his phone and making his way to the door at a fast walk, trying to put as much distance between the nervous boy and himself as possible. A small bell chimed above the diner door as he pulled it open, drawing a glance from the balding man behind the cashier’s stand who, upon seeing that he wasn’t a new customer, swiftly returned his attention to polishing the counter.

As Casper took his first few steps out onto the street, the smells of car exhaust and recent rain washing over him, he felt the mood emanating from the diner change. Just as he was about to leave Casper’s range, the nervous boy’s emotions switched from trepidation to a strange, joy tinted relief, practically on a dime. The change caught Casper off guard and he stood still for a moment, letting himself bask in the now much more pleasant glow of the teenager’s mind. Just a few seconds in, the nervousness faded away, the memory of it much easier to take in retrospect. Curious, Casper took a step or two back towards the diner, glancing in through the window. The teenager was still sitting exactly where he had been, a wide grin now covering most of his face. The waitress tended to a different customer a little way away, her own expression largely unchanged. Stepping a little closer to her, Casper felt her feelings brush once more against his mind. Her thoughts were, much like the other teen’s, strangely happy, although lacking the strange, giddy quality of the boy’s.

Casper grinned. It was hard to help himself. The feeling he got from the two of them was a very pleasant one. He felt his phone ping in his pocket once more and pulled it out, noting the address that now flashed on the screen. He set off at a brisk trot, his mind far lighter than it had been a few moments ago.

Casper tried to keep a distance from other people as he made his way towards the meeting point, holding his power pulled in tight around himself. Pulling it back was easier with fewer people around. That was one of the many reasons why he tended to avoid crowds. Large groups of people had a tendency to be… challenging.

Casper hummed lightly to himself as he walked, holding the residual joy from the diner in his mind as best he could. After a few minutes, however, it began to fade, leaving a mild trepidation in its wake. When Tasha missed meetups, it usually meant she’d found herself a distraction. Casper rarely liked Tasha’s distractions.

As he drew close to the meeting point, Casper let his senses fold out to their full breadth once more, deciding it would be best to avoid walking blind into whatever it was that Tasha was doing this time.

He felt them immediately. Four points of emotion, one of them very recognizably Tasha, each one bright and intense. He would have called it anger, except that wasn’t quite the word. He’d felt real anger before, and this wasn’t it. This was simpler, purer in a way. Aggression. Casper felt his heart begin to beat faster at the very feel of it. Whoever was over there with her, they were fighting.

With some effort, Casper began attempting to weaken his power, limiting the input he felt drawing in from the four combatants and trying to bring himself back into a state of calm. Fight or flight was intense, especially from four people at once. It became just a little more bearable to him when one of the four lights flickered out in his mind’s eye. With a small sigh of relief, Casper slowed his pace, deciding it would be best to let Tasha finish before he arrived.

Casper sensed it as the two remaining strangers tried to fight, their emotions fluctuating moment to moment as blows were dealt, taken, or missed entirely. Even from this distance, unable to see the three fighters, Casper could tell it wasn’t going well for the two strangers. He felt Tasha’s attention shift to one of them as a blow was landed against her. She began directing the majority of her efforts towards the unfortunate individual as the second stranger began to circle around behind her.

The boy shrugged off his backpack, taking a moment to rummage around and eventually finding a small roll of cloth he had kept in the back pocket ever since he first met Tasha. He wrapped the scarf tightly around himself, concealing the lower half of his face as best he could before zipping up his bag and continuing on.

Another surge of emotion and a second light flickered out in Casper’s mind, leaving Tasha alone with the one who’d made his way behind her. Casper winced in sympathy. This last remaining opponent had managed to land a few blows on Tasha’s back. She wasn’t going to be gentle with him.

Casper rounded the corner to see a brown haired man struggling fiercely against a girl near enough a whole foot shorter than him, her skin so matted with partially healed bruises and perpetual sunburn as to render the original color virtually unidentifiable. As Casper watched, she rushed forward, attempting to wrap her arms around the larger man in an impromptu bear hug, only for him to slip an arm free and land a haphazard punch across her jaw. The two struggled for a few moments, the girl slowly restraining the man one limb at a time and bearing him to the ground. In different circumstances, Casper might have found it funny. A grown adult being wrestled to the ground by a girl who couldn’t have been any older than fifteen. Strangely, however, he was not in the least bit amused.

The girl glanced up at him, flashing a grin.

“Hey, Cas,” she said warmly. “Just gimme one sec, okay?” With that, she returned her attention to the pinned man. “Now then, Mr drug dealer,” she murmured, moving her mouth close to the older man’s ear. “You’re gonna sit nice and still while my buddy here goes through your friends’ pockets, okay?” The man’s response came as an angry exclamation, his face pressed so hard against the ground that the words were lost. The point, however, would have been clear even without an emotion sense. Tasha looked up to Casper and jerked her head towards the unconscious figures of the other two fighters.

Casper took a moment to calm himself. The adrenaline flowing through the other two minds pooling around him. He tried his best to separate it from himself, before moving forward, lifting his scarf to cover a little more of his face, and beginning to search the two men. Behind him, he could still hear the restrained dealer’s muffled swearing, cut short when Tasha placed a sharp strike against his midsection. The boy winced in sympathy at the man’s pain.

“Do you have to be so rough with them?” He asked quietly, his voice muffled slightly by the fabric layering his mouth.

“If I want them to take me seriously? Yeah.” The girl replied, her tone just a touch condescending. “I need them to be afraid of me, otherwise they won’t listen when I tell them to stop.” Casper wasn’t sure he believed that. He could feel the satisfaction of her victory radiating out from her. “So,” she asked. “Is he scared yet?”

Casper shook his head with an angry groan. He hated helping with this sort of thing and the rage emanating from the pinned man was not helping. Tasha’s excitement was worse, though, like salt in the wound.

“Of course not,” he muttered, irritated. “He just got done fighting. The only emotion he has right now is that he really wants to punch you. You have to let that wear off first if you want him to get scared.”

“Ok!” The girl answered, grinning at him. “Got it! Thanks, little buddy.”

Casper didn’t reply, focusing all his attention on searching the unconscious men. His task completed, the boy stood and made his way back outside. He began pulling his emotion sense back towards himself, shrinking his perception to a bubble only a few feet wide around him as he slumped himself against a tree, waiting in the cool evening air for his friend to finish up. He would have turned the power off completely, but he had no idea how. He felt the last of the anger leave his mind with a shudder and took a series of long, quivering breaths as he tried to calm himself. He hated being angry.

Tasha wasn’t long to follow, stepping back out herself a few minutes later and glancing around before catching sight of the boy and giving him a wave, heading over at a brisk trot.

“Heya, Cas,” she called as she came within earshot. “Sorry I didn’t make it earlier, I kinda found a thing.”

“I noticed,” Casper muttered, his eyes downcast. “I hate it when you make me watch that kind of stuff.”

“Yeah,” Tasha replied, her tone changing in an instant, becoming anxious. “I know. Sorry.”

Casper kept his eyes on the ground, trying to fight back the water from his eyes.

“…Ok.”

He felt her mind entering his little bubble just a moment before her hand grasped his shoulder. Her feelings surprised him. There was compassion there, sadness. She really was sorry, at least a little.

“Hey, I mean it, Cas,” she murmured. “I’m sorry I made you feel those things, okay?”

“… Then why’d you do it?” The boy asked, his voice small. He turned to face the girl, feeling, as he did so, a small tear trickling gently down his cheek.

“I… Sorry,” Tasha muttered. “I didn’t think. I just… I saw those guys and what they were doing and I… sorry.”

The words rang true to Casper, as did the emotion behind them. Shakily, the boy nodded, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

“Y-yeah… okay.”

The older girl smiled, slinging an arm over his shoulders.

“Thanks, buddy.”

The two were silent for a long while as they began walking together in the rough direction of the diner. After a few minutes, Casper dug his hand in his pocket and passed the girl a crumpled wad of paper.

“H-here you go. The money from those guys you t-took down.”

Tasha took the money with a murmur of thanks, slowly counting out the bills for a few minutes, before offering Casper a few of the notes.

“Here. You deserve something too. You helped, after all.”

Casper would have objected. He didn’t need money. He didn’t want the money. But he knew Tasha would be offended if he refused. He tucked the small pad of notes into his pocket with a mumbled “Thanks.”

“So,” Tasha started, injecting a touch of energy into her voice. “Might as well get back to the point of our meetup. Have you found any new targets for me?”

Casper shook his head.

“Sorry, no. It’s… hard, trying to find bad people with just this sense to go on. It’s really difficult to be sure.”

Before he’d even finished, Casper could feel the disappointment roiling off of Tasha like a fine mist. She let out a dramatic sigh.

“Are you really trying, though?” She asked, glancing sidelong at him. “When you found me, you said you’d help me find bad people to rob instead of good ones. When you said that, I kinda thought you’d be sending more people my way.”

“Of course I’m trying,” the boy groaned. “It’s just really hard when you can see as much as I can. Like, I can tell there’s a robber in a shop, but I can see how desperate he is for money. Or I can tell you about the teacher who has dirty feelings about kids in his class, but I can also feel how guilty it makes him, and I can tell from the kids around him that he hasn’t done anything. It’s… complicated.”

Tasha thought about this for a moment, then grinned, her posture relaxing slightly.

“Sounds simple enough to me. Send me the ones who’ve actually done bad stuff and leave the pervy teacher alone, as long as he hasn’t done anything.”

“No,” Casper replied, shaking his head. “It’s not that easy. I’m the one who’s having to make those choices, I don’t wanna send you someone who isn’t really bad. That’d make me bad.”

“You said you’d send me bad people.” Tasha reminded him with a gentle prod to the side.

“Well… maybe there’s less really bad people in the world than I thought.”

Disapproval. Casper felt it flowing off of Tasha in waves, each surprisingly hurtful, coming from her.

“The world’s full of bad people,” she replied bluntly. “Trust me. What about your dad?”

Casper stopped dead, a note of fear playing sharp in his mind.

“No,” he answered, as firmly as he could, his voice still quavering just a little. “You don’t touch my dad.”

“Why not?” The girl asked, her free hand moving to Casper’s face, sliding a finger along the pale, freckly skin. “You gonna pretend he doesn’t hit you? Why else would you be hiding that shiner, huh?” Tasha’s finger traced along Casper’s face until it found the patch of swollen skin sitting under his left eye, prodding it and coming away dusted with makeup. The boy yelped in pain, pulling away. Tasha gazed at him balefully. “I bet he hits your mom too, huh? So why shouldn’t I hurt him, make him stop?”

The boy gazed at his friend coldly for a few seconds.

“Because he wouldn’t stop.”

The two stared at one another for a long moment, before Casper looked away, a touch regretful.

“I gotta go home,” he muttered. “See you.”

“Yeah,” Tasha answered, her voice and mind echoing the same regret as his. “Later.”

The boy trudged home in silence. He felt cold. Colder than he should have done in the mid-summer evening.

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Prologue: David.

Doctor’s notes, Subject #24170. Alias: David. Session 1.

Notes and recommendations of attendant therapist, Natalie Sharpe:

                David (Pseudonym provided by parental request, to be removed if deviation abilities are confirmed) has displayed mild to moderate behavioral change since occurrence of primary event: sexual assault by an unnamed individual. Behavioral changes are concerning, but within expectations. Parents report that David has been angry, withdrawn and largely non-communicative since the event, frequently displaying signs of recent crying, but never doing so in their presence. Subject discharged from hospital three days previously. No signs reported of physiological or metaphysical manifestations: weight, body temperature and brain activity all normal for a child of his age. Mild decrease in muscular strength flagged as concerning, possible sign of type two manifestation, but no corresponding change in bodily density. Listing shock and physical trauma as probable cause. Overall risk graded as low.

                Behavioral changes are cause for possible concern, if antisocial patterns develop, could lead to greater risk of harm in the event of deviance.

Personal note from attendant therapist: ‘While I am aware that the social and emotional well-being of the child is not the concern of this examination, I still feel a moral obligation to point out the need for sensitive treatment of this issue for the sake of his development into the future.’

                Be advised, David has been noticeably skittish with all adults besides his parents since the event, more so with males than females.

Transcript of audio-visual session recording taken down by supervisor Sullivan is as follows:

David enters, standing by the doorway for several seconds. Notably, his marks of purity and pain, obtained during the sexual assault in question, seem to have been covered, presumably with makeup. He lifts a hand to the side of his face, apparently reassuring himself that the marks are still covered.

Doctor Sharpe: “Hello. My name is Doctor Sharpe; Natalie, if you prefer. What’s your name?”

David: “Don’t you already know my name?”

Doctor Sharpe: “Yes, but I feel it helps if you have a chance to introduce yourself to me, rather than me just knowing these things.”

Both David and Doctor Sharpe are silent for a short period of time.

David: “…David.”

Doctor Sharpe: “It’s a pleasure to meet you, David. Have a seat, if you like.”

A pause.

David: “Do I have to?”

Doctor Sharpe: “No, you don’t have to. If it makes you feel more comfortable to remain close to the door, that’s perfectly understandable.”

A pause.

David: “Is this the part where you ask me where on the doll the bad man touched me?”

A pause.

Doctor Sharpe: “I take it your parents let you watch Law and Order, then?”

David laughs.

David: “Sometimes.”

Doctor Sharpe laughs as well.

Doctor Sharpe: “Just let me note that down here, it’s very important.”

David appears to grow mildly agitated.

David: “Is it?”

Doctor Sharpe: “No, it’s not. I was joking, David. You can relax.”

A pause.

David: “I already told the other doctors, I don’t know who he was.”

Doctor Sharpe: “That’s not why we’re here, David.”

A pause.

Doctor Sharpe: “We’re here to make sure everything’s okay with you; to make sure that what happened didn’t hurt you permanently.”

Doctor Sharpe stands, retrieves a soda from the fridge and offers one to David, who accepts.

David: “The doctor at the hospital said I was recovering fine.”

Doctor Sharpe: “Not that kind of hurt, David.”

A pause. Doctor Sharpe opens a second can of soda and walks with it towards David. He flinches slightly as she approaches. Doctor Sharpe hesitates, before placing the can on the floor and returning to her seat. David mumbles something too quietly for the recorder to pick up, before retrieving the soda, returning to his position by the door, and drinking. David looks out of the office window for several minutes. Doctor Sharpe watches David in silence.

David: “I… I remember it sometimes.”

Doctor Sharpe: “I imagine you do, yes.”

David: “H-he said it would stop hurting after a while, but it didn’t.”

A pause. David begins to cry, wipes his eye on a sleeve, takes three deep breaths, and continues.

David: “I keep remembering it when I try to sleep. It keeps me awake, makes it harder.”

Doctor Sharpe consults her notes briefly.

Doctor Sharpe: “Your parents didn’t mention any sleep problems.”

David shakes his head.

David: “I didn’t tell them.”

Doctor Sharpe: “Why not?”

David: “I didn’t want them to worry.”

Doctor Sharpe: “Trust me, David, they’re already worried.”

David: “I know.”

A pause.

David: “Is there anything you can do to help me sleep? I’m really tired.”

Doctor Sharpe: “There are a few things we can try, yes.”

David: “Can you give me some pills or something? Something to make the memories go away for a while?”

Doctor Sharpe: “Pills are certainly an option, but we don’t really want to depend on them, especially not at your age.”

David crosses his arms and frowns.

David: Imitating Doctor Sharpe, “Not at your age.”

Doctor Sharpe raises her eyebrows.

Doctor Sharpe: “You’re twelve, David. Too many pills could cause problems.”

David: “So could not being able to sleep.”

Doctor Sharpe: “There are other things we can try for that besides sleeping pills. For instance, you might find it easier if you tried sleeping somewhere where you felt safe. Maybe your parents’ room?”

David: “But that’d make them worry even more!”

A pause.

Doctor Sharpe: “It may sound strange, David, but having you close by might be enough to help them worry less.”

David: “That’s stupid.”

Doctor Sharpe shrugs.

Doctor Sharpe: “Yeah. Adults are stupid sometimes.”

A pause.

Doctor Sharpe: “Have you spoken with anyone about your markings?”

David moves his hand to the side of his face, brushing a finger against the point where the mark of purity sits.

David: “It still feels weird having them there.”

Doctor Sharpe: “That’s understandable.”

David: “Does it feel weird for adults when they get them?”

A pause.

Doctor Sharpe: “It can take some getting used to, yes. I remember when I got my mark, a lot of my friends used to tease me about it. They kept asking me who the lucky boy was. I imagine it’s a little harder for you, though. Most people get them by choice, after all.”

David: “I guess that makes sense.”

Doctor Sharpe: “Have you spoken to anyone about your options in that regard?”

A pause.

David: “One of the doctors at the hospital said they could bleach the skin, cover them back up or something. I’m not sure how I feel about doing that, though.”

Doctor Sharpe: “That’s understandable. Would you like for us to talk it through together? It may help you decide how you feel about it.”

A pause.

David: “Sure.”

Doctor Sharpe: “Good. I’m glad. Well, first of all, there is the social aspect. How do you feel about interacting with your friends and family members with the markings?”

David: “It… it feels weird, sort of like everyone’s staring at me for having them.”

Doctor Sharpe: “That is a concern, yes. People in your position often find that the presence of the marks attracts a degree of unwelcome attention. As you are probably aware, the purity marks usually appear when an individual loses their virginity. In kids your age, this can often lead to a degree of unwanted questioning. How do you feel about that possibility?”

A pause.

David: “Not great. I… I’ve been sort of hiding it from people whenever I leave the house.”

Doctor Sharpe: “Yes, I noticed you had them covered up. Did your mother do that for you?”

David: “Y-yeah.”

A pause. David hesitates for some time, staring at the floor, before raising the cuff of his sleeve to his cheek, seemingly in an attempt to wipe the makeup off. Doctor Sharpe speaks before he has a chance to start removing it.

Doctor Sharpe: “You don’t have to take it off if it makes you uncomfortable, David. I promise, I am not going to judge you.”

David seems relieved, quickly returning his hand to his side.

David: “Thanks. It… I know it’s not good to lie, but…”

Doctor Sharpe: “No. In this case, I think it’s perfectly reasonable. It’s a very private thing you’re trying to deal with and you don’t want your peers to know. You aren’t doing anything wrong.”

A pause.

David: “Thanks, Natalie.”

Doctor Sharpe nods in acknowledgement. David shakes his head.

David: “Eww, no, sorry. Calling you Natalie feels weird.”

Doctor Sharpe laughs slightly.

Doctor Sharpe: “I guess I can understand that. Moving on, do you have any problems or concerns about the idea of covering the marks that you’d like to talk about?”

David: “Yeah… I… I’m kinda worried about… what if it doesn’t look real?”

Doctor Sharpe: “I can assure you, David, the process is very thorough. I’m sure the doctor showed you some pictures. Besides, no one is going to question it much if your face doesn’t look exactly the same. To be honest, most people don’t pay that much attention.”

A pause.

David: “Could they do it in time for me to go back to school?”

Doctor Sharpe: “Probably not. If you decided to go that route, you’d probably have to keep wearing makeup, like you are now. As I understand it, the surgery has a bit of a waiting list.”

David: “So then how do I stop my friends from finding out? I mean, I know I can cover them and stuff, but what if it rains or something?”

Doctor Sharpe nods.

Doctor Sharpe: “That is a valid concern, David, but not as much of an issue as you might be thinking. We usually supply skin patches to people in situations like yours, to help hide the markings for the time being. I was informed that these ones should be a decent match to your skin color.”

Doctor Sharpe opens her desk drawer and rifles through it for a few moments, eventually finding the patches in question. She stands and moves to place them on a table in the middle of the room. Doctor Sharpe returns to her desk to allow David to take the patches without coming into contact with her. David takes the patches and examines them for several seconds.

David: “They look all weird. They feel wrong, too.”

Doctor Sharpe: “I know. These aren’t as realistic as the surgery will be, but as long as you keep them under makeup, they should hold up fine for the time being. That way, if it rains and your makeup gets washed away, you’ll have time to excuse yourself and go get help.”

David: “Are… are there any downsides? Is there something bad the surgery might do?”

A pause.

Doctor Sharpe: “It… it depends on what you call a downside. For one thing, if we clear the skin, it stays clear. The marks won’t come back the next time you have sex.”

David’s expression changes to one of disgust.

David: “That’s fine. I don’t ever want to do it again anyway.”

A pause.

Doctor Sharpe: “You may feel differently about that when you get older.”

David: “I don’t care. Right now, I never want to do it again. It hurt.”

A pause.

Doctor Sharpe nods.

Doctor Sharpe: “Well, you can make that decision when you come to it. Even if you decided you didn’t like it, the markings could be tattooed back on eventually, if you wanted.”

A pause.

David: “Sure.”

Doctor Sharpe: “Well, I hope talking about it helped you see everything a little more clearly. Is there anything else you’d like to discuss?”

David shakes his head before looking over his shoulder at the door.

David: “No. I think I want to go back to my mom now. Sorry.”

Doctor Sharpe: “I understand. To be honest, I think you did very well for a first session. I’m glad. Until next time, David.”

David: “Yeah, bye.”

David opens the door and exits the room.

Doctor Sharpe waits for the door to close, then sighs. She produces a hand recorder from her desk drawer and begins recording.

Doctor Sharpe: “Personal notes, Patient 24170, session 1. Patient exhibits no observable signs of deviant cognitive changes. His emotional intelligence seems unusually well developed for a twelve year old, although not to any degree that might indicate some empathic ability. I suspect he is simply ahead of his age group in that regard. His reaction to the concept of engaging in sexual activity at some point in the future is, while understandable, still concerning. Action may need to be taken to prevent him from forming unhealthy or inaccurate attitudes towards sexual activity on the basis of his negative experiences.”

End of recording.

Notes and recommendations of supervisor Sullivan regarding case #24170:

                Doctor Sharpe reports no visible or cognitive evidence of deviance manifestation. An all-clear will be issued pending the results of a two week observation period. Doctor Sharpe requests permission to pursue additional sessions with David on a pro-bono basis for therapeutic purposes. Permission will be granted provided the all-clear is received. On a related note, Doctor Sharpe may be too emotionally susceptible to engage in higher level work. Requesting approval to restrict her to positions with level one clearance only.

Report concludes.

James walked out of the office, deep in thought. Talking with Doctor Sharpe had given him a lot to think about. His mother, Sarah, got up quickly, moving towards him with that same look of poorly hidden concern she had been wearing for days now. She looked exhausted, deep lines etched into her face, drawing the pale skin taut.

“How was it?” Sarah asked, reaching out a hand for James to grasp as she made her way towards the receptionist, a large woman seated in the only comfortable looking chair the waiting room had available.

James didn’t answer immediately. He was too busy gathering his thoughts in an attempt to make some sense of them to be fully aware of his surroundings.

“It was… fine, I guess,” he answered eventually. “It was good having someone I can talk to about… stuff.”

James could tell by the way his mother’s grip tightened around his hand that something he had said was painful to her. Even so, she kept her face carefully controlled. The boy waited patiently as Sarah spoke briefly with the receptionist, before leading him gently from the doctor’s rooms.

“You could always speak to your father and I, you know?” She said quietly as they walked towards the car. “We’re your parents after all. We care about you.”

James sighed. Guilt was a hard thing to deal with, even when applied unintentionally.

“I know, Mom. It’s just… There’s some stuff I don’t want to talk to you about because you’re my parents. I… I’m scared you’ll… look at me different.”

“We won’t,” Sarah replied in that same gentle voice. “I promise.”

‘You’ve been doing it all week.’ James bit back the words, refusing to say them aloud because he knew they would only hurt his mother. Unfortunately, it seemed his silence was equally hurtful to her. She gripped his hand tighter, as if to remind herself that he was still there. He gritted his teeth, angry with himself. He had no idea what to say.

“Hey,” Sarah spoke eventually into the silence, her voice quavering slightly in betrayal of the cheer she forced into the words. “Wanna go get some ice cream on the way home?”

James shook his head, forcing a smile.

“No thanks, Mom. Can we just go home? I promised Bex I’d help her build a spaceship today.”

James wasn’t sure what he would have done without his sister there. It was amazing just how grating people talking soothingly became after a solid week. It had eventually reached the point where he thought it would drive him mad. The only escape the world had offered was Rebecca. At five years old, she lacked the subtlety to pretend everything was okay when it wasn’t. When everyone else around was spouting hollow sounding platitudes and half-heartedly promising that nothing was different, Rebecca wanted to build spaceships with her older brother. James had no words to express how thankful he was of that.

Sarah smiled, slightly more genuine this time. Seeing James spending time with his sister had seemed to reassure her recently.

“Sure thing, kiddo.”

The two drove home in silence, freed from the social obligation to converse by the blessed presence of the radio. Sarah let James pick the channel. Arriving home, James tracked down his sister, marched her into the small playroom the two of them grudgingly shared, and proceeded to dump the entire contents of their Lego collection out onto the floor. Both James and Rebecca understood the universal truth that Lego was simply better when it was in a jumbled heap. The two then constructed the grandest spaceship of which they were capable, complete with engines, living quarters and, because Rebecca was five, Dumbledore’s office.

Later, at dinner, James told his parents about his nightmares, including what Doctor Sharpe had said about sleeping somewhere he felt safe. Both Sarah and Peter, James’ father, had agreed to let him sleep in their room without hesitation.

That night, James got a decent night’s sleep for the first time in a week. When he woke in the dark, whimpering and mewling quietly, his parents gently shushed him back to sleep, reassuring the crying boy that everything would be alright. For the first time that week, James believed them.

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