Regret: 10.1

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New Jersey Pine Barrens:

James Toranaga had no idea. No idea at all, just how complicated his life truly was. He was the scion of what was probably the single most powerful sorcerous line to ever have existed on planet Earth. His mother was, by most common measurements, an alien. His grandfather’s involvement in world war two had been no small incentivization in the creation of the atom bomb.

James Toranaga had a complicated life. He was currently trying to get over the loss of his best friend. He was trying not to think too hard about whether or not he was in love with his other best friend. He was singularly failing in that regard more often than not. And to top it all, James Toranaga was having near enough the worst week of his life.

It may surprise, then, to note that James Toranaga was having a very good day.

He was, at this moment, suspended some forty feet above the forest floor, nestled in against the bark of a pine tree, determined not to make a sound.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are,” his mother called ominously from somewhere above and somewhat to the left of him. He suppressed a snicker. For having discovered she could fly all of eighteen hours ago, Sarah Toranaga had taken to her new abilities like a duck to water.

James liked to think it was because she had a very good teacher. He waited until he saw her form floating into view over the canopy, before slowly edging his way about the trunk, the better to shield himself from view.

Sarah did not notice the noise when her son’s rucksack caught on a stray branch. She did, however, notice the barrage of muffled cursing that followed.

She swiveled in the air, and after a few moments, found her prey, a predatory gleam alighting in her eye.

“Found you.”

James blinked.

“Oh crap.”

He took off. A moment later, so did she.

“Coming for ya!”

In the day to day, James really didn’t consider himself that much of a show off. He was pretty sure Casper might have something to say about that assessment, but for his part, he liked to think he kept the majority of what he could do pretty nicely under wraps, especially where the superpowers were concerned. In this moment, though, in a cordoned off training area in the literal middle of nowhere, he felt a bit less need to be discrete. It was time to show his mother just how fast he could really go.

“Snooze you lose, Mom!” And with that, like a bullet, he was off. She shouted something after him. He did not hear it. He was zooming, at first over the canopy, then up, up, towards the sky, and the sparse covering of clouds above.

He glanced back, and caught a brief glimpse of his mother trailing ever further in his wake, before he lost her against the backdrop of forest green.

He made the cloud line entirely unmolested, and with a winner’s grace, ducked casually into one of the smaller ones, trusting it to shield him from view.

In retrospect, his first mistake was getting cocky.

It was just as he was drifting upwards, aiming to conceal himself above the top of the cloud while finding somewhere new to hide when, with a sound like God clapping his hands, his particular chunk of cloud exploded. James was sent tumbling base over apex with a yelp. He righted himself, spun around to face whatever the heck that was, and was promptly prodded in the ribs by his quietly triumphant mother.

“Tag,” she said, just a little smug.

“What the heck was that?” he spluttered.

“That was tag,” his mom repeated. “You’re it.”

“… No fair,” he grumbled, his arms folding. “You cheated.”

Sarah shrugged.

“Well, I mean. My twelve year old was acting like hot shit. Had to bring you down to earth.”

James’ eye twitched.

“I. Am thirteen.”

“Oh yeah?” His mother grinned. “Prove it.”

“Oh you are on.

What followed was, to James’ knowledge, the most exhilarating game of tag ever played by the race of man. If he and his mother actually counted as that, at least.

It ended, as all things must, when the radio buzzed at James’ hip, a voice from one of the officers at the perimeter of the training zone, warning of civilians getting close enough to risk catching sight of them. All the same, James didn’t want to drive home yet. He was bubbling; energy bursting in his veins like he’d been filled with soda pop. His mother, it seemed, was of a similar mind. She suggested going for a hike.

“You’re so lucky I had a shield up,” James grumbled playfully, some half an hour or so later. “Getting wind blasted by my own mom would be a crappy way to go.”

His mother snorted.

“It’s not luck. I saw you putting that thing up, remember? Just before we started.”

“Yeah,” he admitted with a shrug. “First thing Jiji and Baba ever taught me, honestly. Never, ever, do training without a shield up. Especially if you’re working with a newbie.”

“Oh so I’m a newbie, am I?”

“You’ve had superpowers since yesterday.”

“I’ve had superpowers for almost a year, thank you very much.”

“You have?” he asked, wrongfooted.

“Yeah,” she replied, gracing him with a sidelong look. “Ever since someone got himself stranded on an alien world with a psychic death monster.”

“… Right yeah that would be pretty stressful. Sorry, mom.”

“That’s alright.” His mother smirked. “Just don’t do it again.”

“No promises are made.”

“Sounds about right. C’mon-” she pointed to a fallen tree a few hundred feet further on. “Snack time.”

James shrugged his shoulders and ambled over with his mother to the log in question. Apple slices were had. Conversation about nothing. James was chill. Genuinely chill, for the first time in days. It was nice. Then his mother ruined it with just seven words:

“I wanted to talk about some things.”

James felt his heart sinking like a rock.

“No offence,” he muttered. “… Do we have to? I’m happy. Can I just have that?”

His mother winced.

“I think we do, yeah. Sorry.”

‘Crap.’

He sighed.

“Okay. Lay it on me. Is it a pep talk? Cuz the mood’s already ruined anyway, so.”

Sarah opened her mouth to answer that, then hesitated.

“No,” she said eventually. “This is… Something harder to talk about.”

James frowned.

“If you’re about to ask if I’m gay, I came out to Dad like a week and a half ago and I know maybe I should have started with you but-”

Sarah snickered.

“Dude I’ve known that since you were eight. It’s not that.”

James shrugged that one off as best he could. “Ok, well, what?”

Sarah looked him in the eye.

“It’s about Charlie.”

‘God dammit.’

“… Did something happen?”

“No news yet. I want to talk about how you’re dealing with it.”

“I’m handling it fine,” he replied, a touch defensive.

His mother didn’t challenge him on that. She was good at stuff like that. Letting him keep his pride.

“Better than a lot of people would,” she allowed. “Were you into him?”

“… Yeah. First big crush.”

“I figured.”

They were quiet for a while. Sarah pulled a granola bar from her bag, snapped it in half, and offered one of them to James.

“It tore you up when he left.”

James wasn’t sure what to say to that. He broke off a chunk of honey nut crunch with his teeth, refusing to look at her.

“Yeah,” he muttered.

“And now he’s back, and nothing’s changed.”

James chewed, swallowed. Didn’t answer.

His mother glanced sidelong at him.

“I’m worried about you.”

“Why? I’m not the one who got mind-wiped.”

“And Charlie’s not my son,” she replied, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “He’s got his own mom to worry for him. You’re my job.”

James groaned, his shoulders slumping slightly, trying to hide inside himself.

“I’m doing fine, Mom.”

Again, she didn’t challenge him. Just sat there, waiting.

His shoulders slumped a little further.

“… It hurts.”

“I know.”

“I wanna help him.”

“Of course you do.” She sighed. “I’m not your dad. I don’t know magic like you do. I can’t give expert advice. So, let me ask you this. With all your powers. All your spells. Is there anything you can do to help?”

James groaned. He’d been wracking his brain trying to answer that for days.

“I dunno,” he muttered. “Maybe.”

“Something your dad or your grandparents couldn’t do?”

“… I could talk to him?”

“Think that’d help?”

James didn’t reply to that. He didn’t want to admit what the answer was.

His mother put her hand on his shoulder.

“I’m gonna tell you something that’s gonna make me sound like the worst person ever, yeah?”

James cocked his head a little to look at her. She gave his shoulder a squeeze.

“I think you need to let him go.”

James shuddered at that. He shrugged her hand off his arm.

“He’s fourteen. It’s not his fault.”

“I know. But he’s not your job.”

James tried to find a counter for that. It felt wrong. Sarah waited for an answer. None came. She continued:

“You know why Casper still hangs out with Father?”

James huffed.

“Cuz he’s a dumbass.”

His mother laughed.

“It’s because he’s kind.” She leaned forward in her seat, shifting her face into his field of view. He looked away. “He’s found someone he cares for. Even though it’s a really shitty, stupid idea, and everything is wrong, he still cares. And he can’t bring himself to let go. Because he can’t admit there’s nothing he can do to help.”

Well, they could agree on that, at least.

“Try telling him that,” he muttered.

“I did.” His mother sounded very tired all of a sudden. “But his problem is the same as yours. You can’t save people who don’t want to be saved.”

“… Why’s that mean I have to give up?”

His mother bumped his shoulder with her fist.

“Because as long as you have hope. He can hurt you,” she said quietly. “If we save him. All of us. Then great. Job done. You can fall for his straight butt all over again. But if we fail? If we keep failing? It’ll hurt again. Every single time. Why put yourself through that, when there’s nothing you can do?”

For the first time in his entire life, James glared at his mother.

“Because he’s important.”

Sarah sighed.

“Of course he is.”

James held the glare as long as he could manage, then returned his gaze to his granola bar. He wasn’t hungry.

“I can’t… I can’t walk away. Not if I haven’t done everything I can.”

He could tell his mom was gazing at him. He could practically feel her concern drilling a hole in the back of his head.

“That’s fine,” she said eventually. “But can you promise me. When you have tried. When you do run out of options. That you’ll move on?”

James considered that as best he could. Move on. He could do that. Give up on trying to make it right. Just let it all be broken. He could do that. Maybe.

It’d stop his mom from worrying.

“… Ok.”

Previous Chapter:

Interlude: Peter

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Washington DC: In conference with the National Security Council.

In Peter Toranaga’s considered opinion, the worst thing about having to change the world was the weight of the decision. It had a shroud to it. A gravity. Almost an anxiety, if one could condescend to call it something quite so small. A keen, unbiased awareness of the impact of one’s actions.

He found, in such moments, that it was best to stay on task.

He waited while his escort keyed in the elevator code, pretending to read through the notes he had already fully memorized.

“You’re the linguist, right?”

Peter grunted an affirmative. The agent seemed unimpressed.

“How many do you speak?”

He frowned at that. Not irritated. Just perplexed.

“All of them.”

The agent might have said something further, but the door chimed open before he could. The room on the other side was bustling. Full of faces he recognized from his brief, but had never seen in person. Generals. Admirals. Politicians. It was odd, realizing he wasn’t out of place here. All heads turned to the new arrivals.

Peter reminded himself to smile.

“Good afternoon,” he murmured, pulling his ID card from his pocket by reflex and vaguely flashing it. “Peter Toranaga, Department of Metaphysical Affairs. Thank you all for coming.”

This was met with silence. Not entirely surprising. While everyone present had been briefed on DoMA’s existence to some extent, he suspected at least half of them believed him to be the remnant of some failed cold war CIA offshoot. The level of need to know varied by department. He would need to account for that. He could tell from the faces of some that they thought he was, at best, a spoon bender, and at worst a sanctioned con-man. He did his best to differentiate them out. Separate the looks of quiet contempt from those that would know better.

He continued.

“I’m here to brief you all on the state of metaphysical secrecy on a national and international level, in the hope of setting out a plan of action.” He stepped forward in the direction of one of the display screens at the far side of the room, took out a USB, and plugged it in.

“Can anyone tell me how much you already know about the state of secrecy in the modern day?”

More silence. The shuffling of a few papers. Then one of the generals spoke up. Good. The military would be some of the ones who took him seriously, he hoped. They’d had to deal with this before.

“Metaphysical secrecy is broadly unsustainable,” the man said reluctantly. “We’ve known that much since the Benson report in the nineties. The slow growth of deviation abilities in the population will gradually push the strain of maintaining secrecy towards a state of critical overflow. Left to the current system, the masquerade will collapse internationally within the next ten to fifteen years.”

Peter nodded.

“Succinct summation, General. Unfortunately, it is no longer correct.” He plucked a remote from the conference table, clicked a button, and the display screen lit up with a data spread.

“We began a follow up study a few years ago. According to the results, which I am bound to say I agree with, the tipping point will be reached within the next twelve to eighteen months, if not sooner.”

There was some consternation about the room at that. Peter let his gaze drift from face to face.

“Mobile phones,” he murmured. “The Benson report did not account for phones. Digital cameras. Near universal wi-fi access. Secrecy is a dying art.” There was a flurry of murmurs and hushed conversation as the group began to process the new information. Some looked worried, others skeptical.

After a few moments, the general raised a hand for silence.

“Your containment plan, Mr. Toranaga?”

Peter took a breath.

“Sir… We can’t contain this. It’s too late. We would have to demolish individual freedoms of information beyond the level even the big brother nations are capable of. Our only option is to get out in front of it.” He paused, letting his words sink in. The room was quiet, the only sound the hum of the projector and the shuffling of papers.

“To my mind, our best course of action is a controlled release of information. We need to choose the time, the place, and the manner in which the public learns about the metaphysical. If we do that, we can minimize the fallout, and prevent panic.”

He clicked the remote again, and the display screen flicked over to a low resolution image of a smiling elderly couple. Peter gestured at the woman on the screen.

“A dream walker in Smolensk had a stroke last week. The brain damage short circuited her abilities, and she severely traumatized seventeen people in her apartment complex before she died. Two of them are comatose, including her husband, who was sleeping next to her.”

He clicked again. A smiling eight year old with a gap in his front teeth.

“A boy in New York manifested his latent biokinetic abilities during the incident last year. His panic attack induced stage four liver cancer in the agent who retrieved him. She is still recovering.”

He clicked again. A grainy frame of security footage showing a colossal tiger, formed of bark sheathed wood, its jaws clamped around a young boy’s leg.

 “Last month, one of my own agents encountered a berserk forest spirit in a nature reserve in Oregon. It attempted to eat two children at a local movie theater.”

A sharp intake of breath around the room.

“Did they survive?”

Peter smiled. He couldn’t help the note of pride that snuck into his voice.

“One of them was my son. They were fine.” He cleared his throat. “The point is that these events are happening more and more frequently, and every single one of them has the potential to be an absolute clusterfuck. Do we want this-” he gestured at the screen, the wooden tiger still halfway through biting down on his child’s foot.  “-to be how the world finds out?” This was it, Peter knew. The big moment. They all agreed, right? They couldn’t not agree. The problem would be getting them to act. Who wanted to be the person to bring magical secrecy crashing down? It would be career ending. The silence stretched further. They were quiet, all searching, he knew, for a way out, just as he had.

An older woman broke the silence first. “What would a controlled release look like, Mr. Toranaga? How do we ensure the public is ready for something like this?”

Peter hesitated.

“Unfortunately, Ma’am, I don’t think they are ready. I do not think they ever will be. But we can make it seem normal. Moreso than the random catastrophes that would break the news otherwise. If we handle this right, we can make it a novelty that sometimes gets out of hand. A few decently powerful metaphysicals get spots on talk shows. Maybe a couple teenagers suddenly get popular on twitter. If we handle it wrong…” he shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s the problem.”

“Don’t you think you’re being condescending?” asked one of the agent-types. “The public can handle a spoon bender or two.” Peter simply looked at him.

Right. They had no sense of scale. So much for tact, he supposed.

“I left something in my office,” he said flatly. “I’ll be right back.”

The man began to reply. Peter vanished with a quiet pop.

For a moment, the assembled figures all just sat there, glancing blankly at one another.

“Isn’t his office in Manhatt-”

When Peter reappeared, he was aiming a handgun at the agent’s face. The man flinched. He wasn’t the only one.

Peter’s escort swore, unholstering his own sidearm and firing a pair of shots directly into the back of his head.

Peter didn’t even react.

“The president of the United States is currently in the Oval office, a few floors above us,” he murmured. “I could kill him. Right now. Extremely easily.”

He lowered the gun, pulled out the magazine, and removed the chambered round.

“Honestly I wouldn’t even need this.”

He held the handgun flat in his palm. It began to melt.

“We’re not talking about spoon benders, here. We’re talking about people like me.”


New York: Toranaga Residence.

Peter Toranaga had never been quite so tired as he was when he trudged into his kitchen at one in the morning, looking for something to eat. He tugged open the fridge door and stared inside with unseeing eyes.

“Check the microwave,” came a voice from the dining room. “Casper made honey-chicken skewers.”

Peter stopped. Turned his head ninety degrees to peer through the gloom. Spotted his wife at the dinner table, picked out by the faint glow of her laptop screen.

“Didn’t see you there.”

Sarah smiled.

“Christ. You must be wiped.”

He closed the fridge back up on autopilot, started up the microwave, and leaned himself against the kitchen counter.

He did not close his eyes. He doubted he would have been able to open them again.

“You’re up late.”

Sarah shrugged.

“Solidarity.” She hummed. “That, and I had papers to grade.” She leaned back a little in her seat, gazing at him. “How’d it go?”

He tried to bully himself into remembering anything about his day, then groaned.

“About as well as you’d expect.”

“So, nothing.”

He shook his head.

“They’re too chickenshit.”

His wife swore quietly, then set her computer to the side.

“What did they say?”

“They’re taking it to a higher authority,” he muttered. “Saying it’s an international issue. Gotta bring it to the President. The U.N. Make sure Russia and China are on board. All that spice.”

The microwave beeped. He extracted his chicken sticks, and mooched across to the dining room to join her.

Sarah was considering, her lips pursed.

“I mean, they’re not wrong,” she pointed out. “Magical secrecy can’t break in just one country. It’s all or nothing. This is absolutely an international thing.”

Peter groaned, halfway through burning his mouth on a bite of chicken.

“I know,” he muttered. “Question is how long it’s gonna take. We have a year and a half, at best. How much of that time are we about to lose co-ordinating this internationally?”

Sarah sighed.

“You’ve done your part, love,” she murmured. “The rest isn’t up to you.”

He ate one of his skewers in silence, trying to internalize that fact. She wasn’t wrong.

“… It’s going to be a fucking disaster.”

Sarah sighed, and lay a hand on her husband’s arm. She knew her man. No reassurances would help here. He didn’t need that. Better to distract him with a problem they could solve.

“I flew this morning.”

Peter chewed slowly, recalibrating.

“Flew as in-”

“Like James, yes. I think so, at least. Tripped over that pot plant in my office. Didn’t quite manage to hit the ground the way I should have. Just kinda hung there.”

“Right,” Peter murmured. “… Well. I guess that answers one thing. You’re definitely where James gets it from.”

Sarah half-smiled.

“Your dad flies too, you know.”

“Not when he’s human, he doesn’t.”

Peter sat back in his chair, his half-eaten chicken sticks forgotten on his plate, and directed his gaze at the dining room wall.

“We can get you booked in sometime next week, I think. One or two sessions. Just like last time with your shockwaves, figuring out how it works and how to hide it when you’re in-”

“I don’t think I want that this time,” she replied, her voice quiet.

Peter would have blinked, had he the energy.

“Oh?”

“I think I’ll ask James to teach me.”

Peter actually did blink at that. And here he’d been thinking Sarah would refuse her magic until the day the sun went out.

“Why the sudden turn around?” he asked.

Sarah shrugged.

“You’ve seen how James is taking Charlie. Kid’s been practically dissociating since Friday. This could be nice. A distraction, you know? Something just me and him.”

Peter considered that a long moment, then chuckled.

“So that’s all it took, huh? Find a way to make your magic the positive parental move?”

She raised an eyebrow.

“Why not? Did your parents ever try that?”

Peter winced.

“Why is it that you hold more of a grudge on that than I do?”

“It’s called love, dear. You might have heard of it.”

They both glanced toward the stairs at the sound of a door opening and closing, the conversation dying in its tracks on the offchance that any of their cohabitants overhear it. A few moments later, James appeared, headphones clamped on over his hoodie, Rise Against blaring loudly in his ears, looking like death warmed up.

He didn’t notice them, simply mooching through the dark in the direction of the kitchen, fumbling in the cupboard for a few seconds, and slouching his way back towards the stairs, pausing only to grab a spoon from the pull out drawer on his way by.

“… Did that bitch just steal the peanut butter?” Sarah asked quietly.

Peter chuckled. “We have raised a criminal.”

They didn’t resume their earlier conversation. Either conversation. Peter trusted his wife, and regardless, he was too burned out to think. He took a final bite of chicken skewer, and followed her to bed.

In retrospect, Peter had to reconsider his earlier perspective. The worst thing about needing to change the world wasn’t the weight of it. No. The worst thing was when you failed.

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Need: 9.7

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James:

Question nine: Which graph represents the equation y=4x-5?’

James could not care less about his math homework right now. Not even a little bit. He raised his pen, and circled option ‘B’.

This was the correct choice. Math was healthy. He was not thinking about Charlie. He most certainly was not angry. Or betrayed. Or even hurt. No. He was doing math. So what if that stupid, self-centred little-

He shook himself.

Question ten: If Lucy has eleven dollars and buys five apples-’

James stared at the page for almost a full minute before he realized he’d stopped reading.

He huffed quietly, forced his eyes back into focus, and tried again. This would not be like last time. He would not shut down. He refused to be hurt by this again.

If Lucy has eleven dollars-’

He’d really killed someone though? Really?

“What the fuck, Charlie,” he whispered. “Just… Why?”

He blinked the water out of his eyes. He was not crying. He refused to be crying.

Why are you surprised? Were you expecting him to change?

He shook his head. Knuckled his eyes. No. Charlie had already been broken. He’d known that. He sniffed.

Ok. No math.

He set his workbook aside, pushed himself up off his bed, and stood.

They’d told him an hour ago. Casper too. They’d been hanging out together in Casper’s room. Jamming quietly on his acoustic. Then, in came his dad. A brief, distracted explanation with Jackie standing behind him in the door, eyes on something far away. And then, the adults were gone again.

James almost resented them for that. Why’d they have to go and spoil the mood.

Casper had offered to talk about it. James had asked to be alone.

That wasn’t working out too good.

He stepped out onto the landing, and made his way quietly toward the stairs. If he couldn’t be distracted, then he could at least be informed, right?

The stairs rarely creaked underfoot anymore for him. Too light, now. He didn’t risk it either way. He let himself drift up, just a quarter inch or so. Just enough to not be walking anymore. He didn’t want them shutting up just because they knew he could be listening. He could already hear the voices coming from his father’s office. Angry. Arguing.

He peaked around the corners to make sure he was alone, then floated over to the door.

It wasn’t hard to listen in. They weren’t shouting, but it wasn’t quiet.

“He left four agents in a coma, Jackie. We can’t bring him in like this. We need to reassess.”

“So what,” Charlie’s mother snapped. “We just give up on him again? Those agents knew what we were hunting. They all signed on.”

“I’m not saying that,” Peter replied, his tone one of forced calm. “But this clearly isn’t working. Our baseline psy barrier wasn’t even close to enough to keep the field agents safe. I say we pull back. Withdraw anyone who can’t cast a mental shield of at least second level or above, and move in more cautiously.”

“That’ll cut our force in half.”

James could tell from her tone that Jackie hated the idea for that alone.

Peter’s response was reluctant, but blunt.

“Your point?”

Jackie groaned.

“I don’t have one. You’re right. We’ll pull them back.”

A quiet grunt. A deeper voice. Older. Hideyoshi.

“Good. Now. On to the real problem. The Whale. We need to kill it. It’s clearly still tied in to Charlie. No telling what it will do if we take him away.”

Jackie scoffed.

“How is that a problem. Thing’s long overdue to be torn in half.”

James couldn’t help but agree with that particular sentiment. He knew his dad’s response before he made it, though.

“Because the last time we got close to killing it, your son threatened suicide.”

James nodded.

Exactly.

Part of him still wished he’d flipped that coin. He tried not to dwell on it.

Jackie’s tone was sullen when she responded.

“Charlie wouldn’t follow through with that. My son is not the type. If James had thought about it for two seconds-”

James flinched. Okay. That one stung.

Jackie’s voice had trailed off.

It was Tsuru who spoke up next. Her tone was acid calm.

“You don’t get to blame my grandson for what he did during a combat engagement you were not involved in. James did everything that could be expected of him. I was there. You were not.”

The silence that followed was awkward even from outside the room. His grandmother wasn’t done.

“Frankly, it is only out of respect that you are allowed to be part of this conversation at all. You are emotionally compromised. You are not in charge. This is not your call.”

James winced at that.

Real smooth, Baba.

Jackie clearly had a response to that. Judging by the noise, she bit it back before the first word was more than halfway out her mouth.

Then was Peter’s turn. He was at least a touch more diplomatic.

“Even if you’re right, Jackie. Do you want to take that chance? Drag him home kicking and screaming only to find him strung up by his laces? No. We need a way to talk him down.”

“Leave that part to me.”

“No offense, Jackie. By the looks of the Bermuda lookout? Your last attempt to talk him down did not go well.”

James half expected her to explode at that. Instead, she merely seemed to grunt.

“Fair point. Any suggestions?”

Tsuru’s voice.

“None that spring to mind. As it stands right now, your son is either far gone enough to abet murder, or he’s gone completely mad.”

“He’s spent nine months alone with a psychic predator. You can’t judge him for-”

“I’m not. But the situation is the same.”

“… Then we use Father. Keep him pacified long enough to get him home. Work things out from there.”

James shuddered. Was Jackie really that desperate? He waited for his father to object.

He did not.

“And you’re on board with that?”

“Yes, Peter. Father isn’t indiscriminate. He doesn’t target children who he knows have families waiting for them. He likes to think he has integrity. He’s not going to rape my child just because he has the opportunity.”

“That’s a lot of trust to put in him.”

“Better Father than the Whale.”

No one disagreed with her. James pulled away from the door. He felt sick.

Without a sound, he started floating back upstairs. Listening in had been a mistake.

Father? They were going to ask for help from Father?

He paused by the bathroom door, momentarily wondering if he was going to be sick. Maybe he should talk to Casper. Just to vent it all out.

No. That was the last thing he needed. Cas was so messed up over Father he’d probably think it was a good idea. James couldn’t stand that kind of simping right now.

And Jackie was on board with this? Heck. It had been her who suggested it.

He returned to his room, lay on his bed, and screamed into a pillow.

Screw this.


Charlie:

Charlie was floating. Just laying there, horizontal in the water, maybe six or seven feet below the surface, basking in the diluted warmth of the afternoon sun.

He was happy.

They’d found a cove; a captured pool of beachfront where the shallow water let the sun beat down on the pearly sand like a perfect temperature control. Charlie was enjoying it. His companion had even consented to join him, dragging the train-sized grandeur of its bulk through the narrow inlet and more or less beaching itself up alongside him on the sand.

It didn’t usually like the warm. It preferred cold and claggy places; damp and lightless, but for the ambient glow of the ever present sea life.

Today was different.

They were singing together, their minds dancing through a melody absent sound or sight or texture. Just the way they used to.

Charlie allowed himself a contented sigh, the last few bubbles of air he had unknowingly been keeping in his lungs escaping skywards with the faintest splosh. He didn’t mind. It wasn’t like he really needed air.

It was easy now. In the aftermath. In the song. Easy to set the memories aside. The guilt when that man had shot himself. His mother’s voice on the radio. Easier.

For the first time in as long as Charlie had known it, his companion wasn’t hungry.

The relief was practically euphoric. The strain. The quiet tension. Just… Gone. They had unity again. A companionship that lacked that sense of quiet hurt. He could even wonder, comfortingly, if it had ever truly been upset with him at all.

So here they lay, soaking in the sun and basking in one another’s warmth.

He’d made the right choice. Things were good again. It was easy not to worry. Not to wonder about when the hunger would be back.

What they would have to do when it returned.

His companion must have noticed the shadow in his thoughts. It let out a warbling not-sound from its position some twenty feet away, one of its tendrils swooshing over to brush against him in the water. Checking in. Not quite worried.

He opened his eyes, pushed the anxiety aside, and batted the tendril playfully away with his palm.

I’m fine. I promise.

He forced himself to smile.

We’re gonna be fine.

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Need: 9.6

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Charlie:

The boy hated this. Every part of it. He hated looking over his shoulder every time he came on land. He hated moving around so much, constantly traversing endless stretches of this world, spending most of the daylight hours underwater, for the simple fear that one day, his mother might be nearby.

She’d gotten close, once or twice. Her portals were similar to his, it seemed, connecting distant points in space together in a blink. One moment, he would be alone, and the next, she would be close, stepping quite literally from thin air in her attempts to track him. It was only his companion’s senses that had alerted him, in those times, sensing her arrival like a sudden dash of color on a muted canvas. She was so out of place here. Like him. Not like him.

It made them paranoid. The boy had learned to destroy his footprints when he went on land. His companion had grown resentful. It did not experience emotion in the manner humans do. At least not human in the sense that the boy half-heartedly remembered. Its emotions were a mass of disarticulated parts. Incomplete and secondhand. Taken from the memories of the dead. Incongruous. Incoherent. Its slow hatred of his mother didn’t feel human to him at all. More like shattered glass and nails, screaming over chalkboard. Tinged with possessiveness. Hunger.

They had spoken over it at first. That gently sung communion that warmed him to his soul. Then, as time went by, they’d argued. He hadn’t known how bad it was getting until it had tried to kill her. That had been the only time he’d ever deliberately done his companion harm. He hated that. Hated himself for it. It wasn’t like he loved her anymore. Just a memory of love, inexpertly recollected, as if through a sideways looking glass. It wasn’t real anymore. And yet he’d struck his friend for her. He hated that. The injury of trust. The quiet fear that he would leave. He hated how much he deserved it.

That was when he’d decided that she had to go. When he’d promised that he’d make her go. Make her stay gone.

Look how well that had turned out.

He hated this.

He knelt by the head of the fallen man, and repeated his question.

“Did my mom send you?”

No answer. The man turned his head with an agonizing slowness, and gazed up at him with a single unblinking, uncaring eye.

Charlie groaned. This was to be expected. Extremely annoying, but to be expected. This was how his companion fed. He’d seen it often enough he should have known. It devoured the minds of those it caught, and the first thing it ate, to simplify the process, was the desire to run away.

Apathy. How could he expect this man to answer him when any motivation or emotion in his soul was being sucked out through a straw?

He focused momentarily on the link with his companion, always there inside his mind. He asked it to stop. To pause. Give this man’s senses back to him. The response he got was… Reproachful. Hurt. Confused. It was hungry. He knew that. Why stop it from consuming food? Was this because they were human, like his mother?

His shoulders slumped. That stung. It might even be a little true. He’d always found its feeding to be distasteful. He owed it better than that. Solidarity. He sighed.

Just a little while. I promise. You can have him back. I want to talk to him first. That’s all.

A moment’s hesitation, then it loosed the man’s soul from its jaws. The reaction wasn’t instant. It was like waking. Waking and realizing you’re in awful pain. The man curled up around himself, letting out a groan that was half animal scream, half dry heave.

The boy tried a third time.

“If you don’t tell me what I want to know,” he said. “I’m gonna let it eat you whole.”

The man’s response, when it came, sounded pained.

“Fuck you, kid.”

Swearing. Insults. Charlie knew those. It was one of the human pieces he’d held onto more than others. It remained strangely gratifying, being able to cuss whenever he stubbed his toe or split a sunburned patch of skin.

Ok so he’s angry. Angry means he understands me. I can work with this.

“Did my mom send you?” he asked again. “She doesn’t listen. I told her not to look for me.”

A moment’s pause. The man gazed up at him with an expression that made him feel like he was stupid.

“You wiped her memory, dipshit. She doesn’t know whatever the fuck you said.”

Charlie blinked.

“I did what now?”

The man began to answer, the boy held up his hand. Back to the communion.

Did you wipe my Mom’s memory?

Confusion. His companion didn’t understand the problem. The human had been overpowering him. He’d called for help. It hadn’t killed her.

He had a vivid flash of memory. A chunk of consciousness pulled away from his mother’s surface thoughts as he’d made his escape. Just a taste.

Charlie facepalmed.

“Dude,” he groaned aloud. “Don’t erase the memory. The whole point of warning her to stay away was that she would remember it.”

A wave of feeling from his companion. Insincere apology.

“Well,” he muttered. “Screw you too.”

The man raised an eyebrow, making a halfhearted effort to pull himself into a sitting position.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Charlie groaned. “I was talking to my friend.”

“Ah,” the man grunted. “Trouble in paradise?”

 “None of your business.”

“So yes, then.”

“Fuck off.”

The man let out the most humorless chuckle Charlie had ever heard.

“I have a feeling you wouldn’t let me if I tried.”

He gazed up at Charlie then, one eye slightly bloodshot.

“Are you going to kill me?”

Charlie didn’t want to think about that too hard. It wasn’t his choice. His friend was hungry.

“Depends how useful you are,” he deflected. Then he shuddered. It had sparked off of a half-buried memory.

Fuck this.

The man just grunted again. He seemed to do that a lot.

“You’re a bad liar. You’re gonna let it eat me.”

And there it was in black and white. Weird. It didn’t hurt like he’d expected it to.

“I’m gonna let it finish,” he admitted. “You’re half gone, dude. If you had more than two minutes to look back, you’d see just how much of you is missing-“

“I already know,” the man cut him off. “I’ve been trying to remember my daughter’s name this whole time, so I can say goodbye to her.”

He tapped the side of his head with a finger, uncaring.

“It’s not in here anymore. I know I have a daughter. I know I love her. Fucked if I can tell you more than that. I’m not about to die, kid. I’m dead. All my best bits are gone, and once you’re done with me the rest’ll be gone too.”

He prodded the prone figure of one of his companions.

“Same as these fuckers, drooling on the ground. We’re all dead. That’s what your friend is, Charlie. It’s death. Just think about that.”

“Don’t call me Charlie.”

“Why not. It’s what James called you.”

Charlie flinched.

The man laughed.

“Oh yeah. He’s out there too. Doesn’t feel so good knowing you’re gonna hurt him too, huh.”

Charlie glared at him.

“I hurt him last time too,” he muttered. “I’ll get over it.”

“Good for you. He won’t.”

Charlie almost snarled at that.

“The hell do you want from me? You think I’m gonna change my mind if you’re enough of an asshole?”

The man snorted.

“You’re not gonna change, kid,” he replied. “I can see it in you. There’s no free will left in there. Probably eaten by that friend of yours. This whole thing’s a waste of time and life because there isn’t enough left of you to be worth saving.”

Charlie opened his mouth to snap back, but couldn’t find the words. He wasn’t even sure of why it stung. Just that it tasted bitter in his throat.

“… Screw you.”

Another empty chuckle.

“Hit the nail on the head, huh? Yeah. At least Father’s kids know when they’re getting fucked.”

Charlie didn’t know what that meant. He didn’t much care. He was done with this.

He stepped forward.

“Gimme your radio. I want to talk to my mom.”

“So you can tell her to fuck off again.”

“So she’ll remember this time.”

The man grunted.

“Cuz that worked so well last time,” he gave Charlie a look, his head cocked slightly to the side. “She’s not stopping, kid. She’s your mother. You’re stuck with her.”

“It’s this or kill her,” he muttered. “I have to try.”

The man laughed again at that.

“Great son you are.”

Charlie closed his eyes.

Nope. I’m done.

All annoyance and frustration aside, he still felt bad. Almost wanted to apologize.

Why? I didn’t bring him here. Not my fault.

He tried to believe it as he signaled his companion to resume.

The man let out a quiet sound as Charlie’s friend once again began to eat his soul.

“… Sorry.”

Charlie crouched down, pulled the radio from the man’s hip, and prodded at the buttons.

This one?

A loud feedback whine.

Ok, no, not that one. This one, maybe?

A crackle of static, then quiet.

Charlie brought it to his lips.

“Hello?”

Silence for a few moments, then an answering crackle.

“… Charlie?”

His mother.

He steeled himself.

No guilt. This is for her sake. Just get it done.

“Yeah. It’s me.”

He had to force the next words out. He could feel his companion watching him. Not quite understanding. A tiny bit judgemental.

“I’ve got something I gotta say.”

There was silence there. It was cut short. A loud, echoing retort. The man on the ground had shot himself. Live on air.

It helped, in a way. No need to fear the burning of a bridge. His mother already knew.

“… Stay away from me.”

Charlie threw the handheld on the ground and drew himself upright. There were men approaching. He could hear their footfalls through the trees. His friend could sense them. Time to go.

He opened up his portal and stepped back into the deep. He’d made his choice. It was almost a relief.

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Charlie:

The boy swam unaided through the patchy gloom of the ocean floor, wending through a forest of seaweed, his way lit by the faint light of nearby fish. He made for the side of the cliff face that ringed the outer edges of the underwater canyon; a thousand foot wall of smooth stone and coral.

His companion was restless. The boy knew it. He could feel it through their bond; an empty, hollow sort of agitation. The closest word the boy had for it was loneliness. But that didn’t really do it justice. Loneliness wasn’t normally a driving force. It didn’t energize like this. It was hunger, plain and simple. His companion had to feed. He never liked this part.

The boy reached the base of the cliff face, and set his eyes upward. It was dark down here, a fact little aided by the sparse notes of bioluminescence from the sea life all around. That wasn’t a problem. He could deal with the dark. A practiced motion in his mind, a brief expenditure of energy, and the world lit in vibrant indigo, the ocean depths a rich, faintly pulsing neon.

That was better. He could see the cliff-face now. He pulled himself roughly upright, and made a portal to a point some two hundred feet further upward in the water. He swam through it, and from his new vantage point, scanned the surface of the rock.

Spots of coral; small crevices where nestled grey hued crabs almost larger than the boy was; none of it what he was looking for. He moved on. Another portal, another unbroken stretch of canyon wall.

They sang together as he worked, his companion and he. A shared melody across their minds. His own voice was quiet and light, almost lilting. The other was deep and resonant, slow and grand as the tides themselves. Once upon a time, the sound had almost caused him pain. He was stronger now. The song was good. It helped distract his companion from its need. It soothed the pain of wounds that had yet to heal.

It was on the eighth portal that he found it; a deep crevice in the surface of the rock, a faint glow coming from within. He let his sight fade back to the fractionally more than human level at which he kept it, and swam forth into the cave.

To his eye, the plants that sprouted all throughout the cave’s interior were much like any other kind of algae. In form, at least. They grew extensively, without the limitations of pollution or nutrition. That was the norm on his new world. What made these ones different from the majority was the way they glowed, a halo of cobalt emanating from the tips of every stem until, even half a mile beneath the surface, the sunken furrow outshone the moons above.

The boy found it beautiful.

He sent images flowing through the song to his companion, each met with the kind of interest that comes from only caring about a subject because a loved one does. He called his companion a spoilsport. It didn’t understand the word.

With a shrug, the boy swam deeper. The furrow angled upwards into the cliff, pushing up through a narrow crevice in the rock, then into the cavern’s true interior.

What he found when he squeezed inside was unusual. It was organized. Maintained. Natural, yet not untouched. The space was wide and not quite flat, perhaps a hundred feet across. A rough circle, like the interior of a discus, gaining depth towards the middle. On the outer edges of the ring, there sat more of the glowing algae shrubs, in whose light basked a crescent ring of coral. Within that, a forest of upraised crawler vines obscured the true centre of the space from view. Charlie grinned. He knew a dwelling when he saw one. Something lived here.

He sent a chirp of confirmation through the song to his companion, and a moment later, felt as the harmony shifted. Even now, he knew, his companion would be lifting itself up from the seabed, positioning itself at the entrance of the cave.

He swam closer, peering in through the tendrils, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever lay within.

There was a brief image of what might have been a clamshell; a luminescent pearl sitting in its mouth, before the space’s occupant chose to manifest. It was like a shark, in a way. One of the smaller ones with the extra fins sprouting from the tail. There were differences, of course. Where an earthly shark would be a mottled grey, this one was patterned in stark lines of black and white, weaving across its form as if daubed by a calligrapher. That and the tendrils, trailing backwards from the tips of the larger fins, each sporadically discharging lightning against its body whenever they were still.

It materialized in the reeds above him, its presence made known by the disturbance it brought among them. He looked up, and met its gaze. There was no aggression there. Not that he could tell, at least. This one didn’t seem too territorial. It looked him over, sizing up this new, four-limbed land dweller that had somehow wandered into its domain. It was curious, as all guardians were of new life. In the part of him that was still human, Charlie felt the urge to bow. He restrained the impulse. It wouldn’t have understood the gesture anyways.

For its part, the guardian of the canyon drifted towards him, its semi-spectral snout passing once above his head to sniff, then pulling back. A snap of sparks along its tendrils, the discharge seeping through the water enough to stand the hairs on Charlie’s neck on end. A display of power. It wasn’t a threat. Not quite. Just an assurance. It was the master of this domain. He was to consider himself warned. Once that was done, the spirit seemed to lose interest. It looked away, returning to float amid the reeds.

Charlie folded his arms, quietly impressed. This guardian was powerful. This would do.

Another short stream of images through the song, and his companion let out a groan. It was so hungry.

Charlie found he couldn’t look at the guardian anymore. He never liked this part. With a thought, he opened up his portal. With a gesture, he smashed its barriers to dust. The protector spirit of this realm stared through the hole in space, right into the eye of the Whale. His companion began to feed.

Charlie swam back to the entrance of the cave, asking quietly that his companion restrain itself enough to let its prey survive. It might heed him. He did not know. For now, the hunger would be bearable for a few more weeks. That would be enough.

He made a portal to the surface. He felt a need to breathe the air again. A few moments treading water, letting his shields adjust to the sudden change in pressure. He squeezed the water slowly from his lungs. Never a pleasant feeling. Then came the inhale. Fresh, morning air, scented with iridescent salt. He cast his gaze around, and saw a mountain island just barely poking over the far horizon. Another portal, and he was standing on the shoreline.

The sun felt good against his shoulders. Might as well make use of the warm, while it was there. He braced his hands against his knees, and did his best to shake the water from his hair. Time to deal with his own hunger. He wondered if the trees here had fire melons.


Lewis:

Lewis Themps stepped through the portal and took a long breath through his nose, checking for the telltale scent of his chosen quarry.

Foreign fruit. Tree sap. Bird shit. Seaweed. A faint tang of that ever present saffron smell. Nothing recent.

A brief jog across to the other side of the micro-island, a government agent running alongside him for his protection, and he tried again. Still nothing of what he was looking for.

They went back to the portal and crossed back over. Lewis shook his head.

“Not that one,” he said, addressing the words to the woman holding the portal open. “Hasn’t been there in months.”

The portal snapped shut. An agent drew a cross on a map.

“Right,” came the reply. “On to the next, then.”

Lewis grunted. They’d been at this for five hours, transiting piecemeal between every landmass Jacqueline Vance had identified. Check the trail, see how recently her son had been there, move on to the next. That had been destination number twenty, not that the lack of tangible results had diminished the woman’s optimism any.

Lewis leaned his back against a tree trunk, habitually feigning relaxation as Jackie set about conjuring her next portal. It was hard to be at ease around the U.S. government. He folded his arms. That felt stiff, so he unfolded them again, hands shoved into his pockets.

“Next area’s the central landmass of section B-3,” Jackie called, the fifty or so assembled souls of the search party nodding along at the words. “It’s near two miles from end to end, so we’ll be sending everyone through at once. When you’re all through, fan out and do a full sweep from one end of the island to the other. Set timers for half an hour, then regroup and move on.”

Around them, the assorted specialists, military types, and office workers began to set their watches.

“I can’t get a full sense of the area moving with a search cordon,” Lewis spoke up. “Not in half an hour, at least. Too wide of a space. Not enough time to check it all if I’m moving slowly.”

Jackie nodded.

“No searching alone,” she answered. “My son is powerful enough to pose a threat to the strongest fighters we have available. We do this as a group, for safety’s sake. Take some people with you.”

Lewis inclined his head.

“I need the fastest runners,” he said to the group at large. “Whoever thinks they can keep up. If you fall behind, go back to the cordon. I don’t have time to slow down for you.”

The challenge drew looks of consternation from a few, mild annoyance from others. Five or so of the more military types raised their hands, along with one of the scrawnier looking specialists.

Lewis cocked his head towards the scrawnier one and sniffed.

The smell of earth and freshwater. None of the telltale scents of sweat or antiperspirant like those on either side. 

‘Huh. Goblin. Well, at least that one might keep up.’

“Right. You’re with me then.”

When the portal opened, his team was the first through to the new island. Another deep breath. No scent trail. Nothing out of the ordinary here. He glanced about, and set his eyes on a point several hundred feet further in along the shoreline.

Check there next.

He set off through the sand at a sprint, his escort following suit less than half a second later. He was surprised. They were keeping up relatively well, in spite of the enhanced speed his own abilities allowed him. Of the humans, three had managed to remain within a few dozen feet of him, the fourth had fallen well behind. The goblin, for their part, had matched his stride.

A minute or so of running later, he took another deep breath through his nose. Still nothing out of the ordinary. He grunted, turning back toward his team.

“We’ll do a full circuit of the island,” he murmured. “Pausing every couple hundred feet for a deeper check. You three,” he gestured to the three remaining human agents. “You three fan out behind me. Keep me in line of sight, but not too close. If something gets the drop on us, I don’t want us all grouped up.” He turned to the goblin. “You stay with me.”

The others nodded their assent.

“Radios at the ready,” the goblin spoke up. “We keep in contact the whole time. Just on the off chance.”

As one, the agents each flicked a button on a handheld radio at their belts. Lewis belatedly did the same. There was a buzz of static as a frequency was set, echoed mutely by those of his companions as they joined it.

With that determination made, the group set off. Another short sprint across the shoreline. Another pause. Another smell. Still negative, so they set off again. Rinse, repeat. Rinse, repeat. When they reached the point at which the island began to broaden out, they pushed into the forest. Their sprints became highlighted by the lush new scents of their surroundings, rich and heady to Lewis and his nose. They proceeded quietly, no communication beyond a visual check in every time they stopped. No sound beside the gentle thud of footfalls on the earth.

They were reaching the far end of the island when he finally found something. First came the smell, drifting across Lewis’ path as he ran. Dry coral over saffron. The scent of the wayward child and the creature that had taken him. It wasn’t faint this time. It was recent. Within the last few hours, even. He swallowed the small burst of elation at the scent. There was pride to a successful hunt.

He threw out an arm for his companion, both of them drawing rapidly to a halt. Behind them, the other three members of his escort followed suit.

Lewis didn’t respond to the questioning look the goblin shot him, instead taking up his radio, and switching to the main frequency.

“I’ve got a trail. It’s potent. Last few hours, maybe.”

A short crackle of static, then Jacqueline replied, suppressed excitement evident in her every word.

“Is it him?” she asked.

“Hell if I know,” he grunted. “Just smells of the slime you gave me, but it’s the same stuff. Looks like it leads into the forest. Do you want me to zero in-”

“Fall back,” Jackie ordered. “Mark your position and return to the main group. We’ll surround the area, then you’ll guide a retrieval team.”

“On our way.”

He clicked the handheld back off.

“Alright folks. Back the way we came-”

That was as far as he got before the sense of dread fell over them. He’d been warned about this in the briefing: A quiet, oppressive kind of fear, like a scratching in his skull.

The Whale had noticed them.

“Back to the others,” the goblin ordered. “Double time.”

From somewhere in that endless ocean, the Whale roared.

It was like running through putty. A sense of weight. Unending, uncaring pressure, setting deep about arms, shoulders, and knees. It was exhausting, the tiny stresses of movement failing to fade with each new breath. Worse than that, though. It was apathy. The desire to run leeching slowly from his limbs. Fight or flight flickered out. He didn’t care. He made it twenty steps before he lost his feet. The goblin made it only a little further before they joined him, slumping to the ground, whether from exhaustion, or simple apathy, he couldn’t tell.

“The radio,” the goblin muttered. “Call for help.”

Neither of them did. Neither of them cared. Ahead of them, the others began to fall as well.

The crunching of sand underfoot. The scent of coral and saffron on his nose.

“Did my mom send you?” the boy asked.

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